Oh i don't know what to write, see you tomorrow.

so its twenty past nine at night and after some really nice texts i felt really excited about going away tomorrow but now it seems that it has been turned into a competition. why a competition? why can't we allbe supportive and anyway benny is claiming that he is already there having a romantic night with Kate, imagine the conversation, "it's a shame i couldn't get it up." "Don't worry about it," "it would have made the holiday special." "don't worry it could happen to anyone." Oh i don't know what to write, see you tomorrow.

benny needs your help

well nelson mandela said that he's basically an optimist by nature and you have to face towards the sun and walk forward. that sunny demenure rubbed off on benny when he spent that time on roben island for inciting civil disobedience, a stance that everyone who knew him thought was at odds with his tory boy living of old. Well anyway its a good thing that benny spent that time incarcerated because he has had to face more trials recently and is relying on that sunny demenure to keep him going. firstly he couldn't get the big barbeque through the garage meaning that summers may not be as planned. but more pressingly easter plans are not as they were as the wigwam is looking difficult to erect. he's down at the moment. he's gotta ring tomorrow for some advice, something that he's not fond of. two disappointments are enough for any man but michael is strong and with your words of comfort he can continue his walk towards the sun.

schools out

It seems that i am the only person who don't know what is happening and bob has suitably chastised me for not keeping up to speed. for more information check the comments from before but they go along the lines of, everyone knows where we are going except you mr dyke and lucy is no longer a teacher. it means easter can be a time of great celebration. anyway, this blog may appear sporadically from now as i have limited access to teh internet due to the easter holidays. but if you need to contact me or something you could talk to me. bob said that's how they used to deal with the communication problem in medieval times. herbert told him.

oh how nice

well after much debate. it turns out that thursday is the day even if it is midnight. so after those specifics have been ironed out and kate has been saved from a romantic night alone in a tepee with beeny (imagine the conversation...do you like my tepee? yes i do. it's new have you ever slept in a tepee before? no i haven't. do you like caribinas? eta eta) its time to turn our attention to location specifics. where indeed are we going and on what nights? north coast first (oh my spiritual home) and south coast second? what do you think? well let me know as soon as possible but for now i have to go and moderate coursework. goodbye from me.

specific plans

so, i reckon its about a week until we set off. but you see i have to use teh word sabout because i'm not sure of the specifics. i thought that me and kristy were going to be going down early before everyone else on the thursday and it turns out that benny is going down on the thursday with kate and that might be when rut and flare are setting off. this means that i don't really know what everyone is doing and when. what does it matter i hear you ask? you've never really been bothered before i hear you moan. well you see i'm trying to be organised. so let me know. 9i would tell you more but my next apointment for parent's day has arrived and i must go and deal with that.

a little herbert in your pocket

this morning i got a text off herbert because i rang him by mistake and he became a little herbert in my pocket. i was carrying him around with me and he was listening to my lessons. i thought isn't this a nice idea to have a herbert in your pocket. you could have him with you at all the time for company providing a sardonic commentary upon all that you do. it made me think, and now i get round to the real point of this posting, that we should make herbert come away at easter. it is extremely important that he is there and there will me a hole in my soul if he does not make it. the plan is to text him, call him, email him at iamherb@hotmail.com so that he will come away with us and make that transformation from being a little herbert in our pockets to an oddly shaped herbert on our camping expedition. bombard him now! i know that really it is a way to travel but i would like him to be there. wouldn't it be great? whilst your contacting him, ask him if he's found his jumper because i don't want him to accuse me of stealing it in the way that andy stole that basketball hoodie and wouldn't let him know that he had it really. i won't rest until he has it back.

breaking news :-)

right, i think this is breaking news. i'm sitting here at pantsdown penthouse and benny has just told me something. i fear he could be winding me up but i just asked rob and he said that he thinks it may be true. benny has bought a ten foot tall tepee in preparation for easter. it is fourteen foot diameter as well. it is big and it is arriving on monday. bloody hell. i'm not going to write any more until i have digested this news.

so anyway, before that my breaking news was that andy is alive and well and in sweden. bob said he was in switzerland the land of swiss cheese, but that turned out to be bobs brain because as i said he's in sweden admiring their designs. Thank god. i was telling kristy about how i thought he didn't like me and everything and what with easter coming up that would be terribel but it turns out that all is well and beeny has said we can sit in his tepee, so life is good and easter is coming. can't wait.

still nothing

i've emailed him, but nothing. i might try the telephone. flare has contacted tho and she's really excited.

so it continues

the radio silence continues without mr andrew foreskins contacting the outside worl. things are bad. i'm worried. i even heard from herbie last night, he's lost his jumper and thinks he may have left it at our house. if you see andrew tell him to return

radio silence

benny has been moaning at me because i never answer my phone and appear at times to have disappeared off the face of the earth. well i fear that the same fate may have happened to Mr andy foreskins as we are experiencing a period of prolonged radio silence. why? i hear you ask. well no blog entries, no commenting, no emails, phone calls or texts, bar the one where he took offence to me saying he looked like an ugly isrealian footballer and told me that i looked like phil neville. The cheek of it eh? especially with him being the spit of gary neville. Well we are worried. it is summer now and a period of happiness has fallen up our house with the sunshine and we are looking of forward to the scams of easter. However these will not occurr if mr andrew foreskins does not comes back to us. if you see him let him know that we care.

its a small world

its a small world . i tell you. last night me and kristy went to watch the school show. it bought back memories i tell you. and it was very good. i know that you don't appreciate that kind of thing but it was good, amazing in fact. well playing bass in the band was marcus. marcus is from wolverhampton and i know him from my orchestra days (i know you don't appreciate that kind of thing etc...) and marcus was once in an different orchestra with kate and kate is in a relationship with benny. blimey. we had lots to talk about for about a minute, the conversation was mainly based around how it is a small world. the show was good mind. not as good as bob's blog mind. have you been on it? he details all of the work that he does everyday at the grid. bob works at the grid with my cousin. its a small world

Bobby Manion

isn't bob fantastic. i don't see enough of bob at the moment and it is entirely my fault. this posting is prompted by two things. one bob says that i never mention him and two he doesn't like what i write. i think bob is ace and the fact that he doesn't like me really hurts. i'm looking forward to easter so i can see he lil face light up as he waves his arms above his head and chants to the pub incessantly as if his life depended upon having another pint of tribute, or doombar if there ain't a st austell ales hostelry. theres loads of them in cornwall though. when i was last there i picked up a leaflet that lets you know where they all are. thats nearly as brilliant as bob. only nearly mind.

the sky

when we go to cornwall, i really want to look at the stars. so i really want to make sure we do some coastal path walking. this is what i have been thinking today. however at present, it is snowing so i doubt it will be clear enough to see the ends of the field let alone the sky.

bbrbrbrbrbrrrrrr.

me again

the weekend has been strange. i hope you enjoyed it though. When i went into school on friday it was non uniform day but i had forgotten so i had to look like the daft idiot at school who wears his uniform when he doesn't want to. nobody picked on me but i think thats cos i'm a teacher now. later that night we went for a meal with benny and kate. it was a kind of coupley thing that served as a warm up for saturday night cos me and kristy went for dinner with rob and kirsty round tash and russell's. russell isn't related to me which is probably good cos i don't like going round my family's house for meals all of the time. and tash cooks really nice meals. kirsty like ocean colour scene and that worried me but i'd met her before so i knew she was alright really. anyway. i got to go to beeny's house as well but everybody was asleep and showed no enthusiasm in seeing me and kristy even though we had made a special effort. when i woke up we went and got breakfast and the car then lazed around all day. herbie came to stop and was elusive as ever but we let that go. we watched 100 best comedians. i stayed up to number 2 and then they cut to a break. i protested at the capitalist exploitation of my interest by turning the adverts off and going to sleep. this was just as well cos the kids told me this morning that number one was billy conneley and i don't really like him. when i woke up herbert was gone and had been replaced by a load of snow. and fern and reggie were on the radio. kristy had a dream once about me working with fern at radio one and she claimed that we'd got it on. when she told benny this he congratulated me. anyway when i got to work the kids were in uniform so it was alright and all is well in the world. i'm happy now you see because my ulcer has nearly gone. if you have an unlcer i recommend ambesol and painkillers.

connect 4um

last night beeny came round and had fajittas with me and kristy and lindsay. it was very funny. we drank wine and then he kicked my ass at connect four. this was very distressing to me because i don't like to lose at connect four and think that it indictaes a general malaise within my mind. or something sinister. i was terrible and couldn't win for toffee. i kept pleading for one more game and he would beat me at that too. terrible it was. but on a brighter side herbie is coming to stop and i can play him at connect four. i'm very interested in what his strategy will be. he could build upwards like boys tend to do or acoss the bottom as girls tend to do. although i fear he may do a mixture of both and this will flumox me. i had other things to write but ive forgotten them. this is another symptom of the general malaise in my mind. i like that phrase.

toothache

i went to teh dentist yesterday cos i had really bad toothache but it turns out that it was only an ulcer. i have real;ly bad mouth ache now. ouch. i'm not going to write anymore cos i just want to go GRRRRRRRRRRRRRR. and then ouch.

tent

The other week we were going to meet kate and beeny was going to bring her round and me and kristy discussed putting on posh clothes to make an impression. it didnt happen cos beeny didn't bring her round in the end. so me and kristy end up meeting kate on teh very weekend we decided to act like something out of shameless. our heads hurt on sunday. and when we got back we had to decorate. my dad was there and he made me undercoat the doorframes and kristy had to do teh sanding. he said we didn't have teh enthusiasm we had shown on saturday. but hey ho. three and a half weeks to go and i have my tent all ready. it may buffett but its ready

its all about visualisation

i've been a little worried about teh holiday lately because nobody is talking about it. but i found out that andrew has got a new tent that we can all crash into when the weather gets poor. and i went the gym yesterday and i was doing some weights with michael and i couldn't be bothered and i stopped. michael told me to carry on but i didn't want to. then he told me to think about those big six foot waves that were gonna attack me. so i did some more weights. its all about visualisation.i can't wait. i'm going to watch the football tonight again. it doesn't seem like two weeks since i was last writing about the football does it? blimey. but i'm not as excited about the football as i am about the holiday. i wonder if everybody else is excited or if they have gone off the boil.

no messing

I got my own room at the weekend. it's the middle room. We've sold teh vibrating bed. i can do whatever i want in there, within reason. i am using it as a work room. kristy has insisted that i put the sofa bed in there. i don't want it in there but she says that compromise is important. so i compromised. I'm going to bunker down in there now and woebetide anybody who tries to mess with me whilst i'm in my inner santuary.

phew

i found my keys. well kristy found them. they were where she told me they would be. down the side of the sofa. i just didn't look. i could have saved myself a lot of hassle if i'd looked properly down the side of the sofa. theres a message there for everyone.

it were like a dream

man, its dead strange because this time yesterday me and kristy were standing at the top of the cliff over looking whitesands bay and now i'm back at work. you see we went cornwall at the weekend and it was very nice. it all started on friday evening, i tried to get an early night but my sister went to hospital so we went to see her and then i went to bed about ten so i could get up early for a nice journey to cornwall. we set off at six and got there for eleven, this made me think how easy it is to get places and i have therefore learned a valuable lesson.
i then went to the bar and had a pint of tribute. i've been thinking about this today. if your look at andy's blog you will see a picture of me drinking my pint of tribute. i saw it this morning and it made me realise that we live in strange times when you can come to work on a monday morning and have a look at your holiday photographs on the interweb thing. strange. anyway tribute... i created some kind of fixation on st austell breweries. the hotel we stopped in was owned by them and they had leaflets and books that i read and i realised that i like st austell beer and their pub and i got into spotting them. then i realised that i had become a spodder.

anyway, we'd gone to cornwall to go to jeff and pauline's wedding. i'd never met jeff and Pauline before but they were very nice. jeff is an uncle of Kristy’s and he lives in redruth. redruth doesn't have the benefit of being by the sea so it was different a different, more like a north Wales kind of cornwall but with really expensive property. Kristy’s dad advised us against going out in the town because everyone would stare at us, but i find that that happens anywhere.

the service was lovely, the vicar talked about three strands to a rope and one being jeff the other Pauline and the other god. he then mentioned that he used to be a life guard in newquay. you don't get that at St Luke's in cannock!

well the afterwards was let down slightly by not being in a st austell's hostelry so i had to drink vodka with red bull. i managed to stay up quiet late but we didn't dance because kristy said her family thought i was normal and she didn't want them to think different. so anyway, that was the wedding bit.

we went to st ives the next day and i must say that there is something special about that place. it’s strange to walk around when it is not streaming with people and you almost have it to yourself. and the light was really bright and it seems cheesy to write this because i saw something on the tele about the 'st ives light' but it was really bright and white and beautiful and i really wish i was back there. we walked along the front, Kristy had an ice cream and then we went onto the far beach where Andrew first went body boarding. i don't think Andrew would have liked to have body boarded yesterday because the waves were really big but i don't blame him. it made me realise why swimming in the sea is great because the waves looked ace. can't wait etc.

after that we did the coastal road to sennen, lovely sennen, beautiful sennen, lovely sennen. well you see, nothing really changes there, it remains peaceful and calm and windy and cold. there are speedbumps on the main road and a mini island at the junction where you turn down to the cove but that’s all, oh and the bistro has closed. We had lunch in the old success and drove to the other side of the bay and looked out over the sea, considering whether to walk down to the beach. we were scared of all the steps so we didn't. the bit that i did walk made me out of breath and it has made me realise that i need to get fit and strong before the summer so i can make the most of the best place in the world.

we then drove back. the moral of this story is that it didn't take long and you can actually get anywhere in a short amount of time really. there are midwife jobs in truro so we can move there one day and we expect everyone to follow us, or at least visit once a month.

i ain't seen him out for a while and beeny said its all the rage

to tweed or not to tweed?

that is the question

the weekend

i have writer's block

wow

this blogging thing is harder than you would think. ive spent teh last hour trying to access my account. i did it in teh end. obviously. you see i was entering my name and not my email account. anyway. in my excitement i realised that i already have another blog somewhere else that i somehow set up. it has no posts on it thoug so it is a bit useless. i have to go really and don't have long because the school will be closing. bugger

blimey

today i am having a strange dAY. I LOST MY KEYS AND HAVE HAD TO USE THE SPARE Car key to get to work. i don't really want to be at work today. i don't think the two are related. i watched he football last night and i'm going to watch the football tonight. i don't even like football that much. its too long. i prefer teh edited highlights. i like match of teh day 2 over match of teh day but i end up missing most of it so i can get an early night for monday morning. i'm not very good at mornings you see.

that reminds me of my other news. i've given up coffee (nearly) i was drinking lots of inky black coffee and i've stopped now. i only have one cup in a morning in teh hope that i will no long hurt in teh way i hurt before. read between the lines.

i'm a little drowsy.

anway i can't stop and chat all day. i have to plan my lessons for the afternoon and prepare for watching teh football with michael. please drive carefully if you are going out on teh roads.

byee
russell

this is me

hello
i'm trying to ask andy on his blog about whether he got kidnapped or not. i feel he did but will not actually say that he got kidnapped because he will lose face. You see, i warned him before he went that the taxi drivers will kidnap him. it happened to my mom and dad in tunisia and if you read andy's blog carefully he refers to taxi drivers. bob said its best not to mention andy being kidnapped so i will leave it there.

anyway, i don't now yet whether i am leaving a posting on andys blog or creating my own blog here so im going to0 continue. please bare with me. i won't be long. i boarded teh loft at teh weekend. i wasn't very good at it and it hurt my legs in the end. yesterday i got a good result at school and although i'm twenty eight it pleased me.

anyway, thats enough about me. how are you?